The Story Behind Paws & Reflect
My Inspiration
In March 2022, I adopted a Romanian Rescue dog. We'd been considering getting a second dog to join our Springer Spaniel, so I started browsing rescue pages and from the minute I saw this girl's picture, I felt something and just knew she had to join our family. Within a week, we were heading up to Coventry to collect her and bring her home. We gave her a new name, 'DeeDee', and started our journey as 'rescue dog owners'.
DeeDee is the reason I trained as a canine reactivity and aggression expert - she has inspired me to know as much as I can about her and how to support her.
We spent so long being restricted because of her behaviours whereas now, because she feels safe and trusts me as her guardian, we can enjoy our experiences together.
The successes I have had with her are why I am so keen to help others - I get what you're going through and I want to support you and your dog on your journey together.
Her Back Story
We were told by the adoption agency that DeeDee had been abandoned as a puppy on someone's doorstep in Romania and was fostered out there by a lady prior to coming to the UK to be fostered here.
DeeDee was adopted by a family in the UK but returned after just one day and put back up for adoption which was the ad we'd seen.
This means that by the time DeeDee was 6 months old, she had been in at least 5 different homes before coming to us - her forever home.
We knew very little about her past experiences other than her having been shipped between various homes - trauma enough for any little pup!
The First Few Weeks
We knew it might take some time for DeeDee to adjust to her new home, companions and routines.
We approached the transition period with patience and calm. During the first few days, we noticed a few small triggers that DeeDee had - she hated bin bags, she was terrified of the curtains being drawn, she cowered if anyone raised their hand/gestured, she'd disappear after any sudden/loud noises.
We limited visitors for the first few weeks before gradually introducing her to the wider family and their canines.
We gave her the space she needed alongside the comfort and reassurance she deserved. Everything was done in a calm manner and we were very much led by her, taking everything at her pace.
Eventually, we started some basic command training and off-lead walks. She was a very quick, eager learner - we had such an intelligent girl!
The First Few Months
DeeDee settled in very quickly - she was such a mischievous girl, exploring the world by chewing, digging and bouncing around. It was so heartwarming to see her so inquisitive about her new world.
She adored our Springer Spaniel and played with him beautifully until tragedy struck and we lost our beautiful boy in the summer of 2022. Everyone in the house was heartbroken - DeeDee included. She wouldn't play, eat, explore or show any signs of her previous outgoing, bouncy-self. After a few weeks, we decided we should get DeeDee a companion so we welcomed Frankie to the pack.
DeeDee instantly returned to her happier-self, and built an unbreakable bond with Frankie. They played so well together - she was so gentle with him, even with his pincer-like teeth! We knew we'd made the right decision to bring another dog into the home as the comfort it brought DeeDee was undeniable.
When Things Started to Go Wrong
At around a year old, DeeDee was spayed (a legal requirement for Romanian rescues) and all was seemingly okay until a few months on where her abdomen swelled and she started producing milk. A consultation with our vet informed us that she was experiencing a pseudopregnancy - not uncommon and nothing to worry about. We let it run its course as per our vet's advice and after a while, DeeDee returned to normal.
A few months on and DeeDee, whilst on a walk, was approached by an off-lead Golden Retriever. The dog was very boisterous and pounced on DeeDee despite my efforts of trying to create space between her and the larger dog. The owner of the off-lead dog had no recall of her dog and took what seemed like forever to reach us - she eventually wrestled her dog off of DeeDee.
From this day forward, DeeDee no longer trusted any unknown dogs and had gone from being submissive and playful, to outwardly reactive with aggressive tendencies - to say we hadn't seen this coming would be an understatement.
The Behaviours
DeeDee noticeably changed after this incident. She became reactive towards other dogs when we were out on walks - barking, lunging, snarling.
We could no longer have male visitors to the home because she would bark at them constantly or lunge/snap at them.
She barked at any noises when she was out in the garden or any sudden noises in the home.
Our once happy-go-lucky girl was now a nervous, unsettled dog who was presenting some unsafe behaviours.
I felt lost, confused, and worried for DeeDee and the safety of our family, friends, strangers, and any other dogs we came into contact with.
Seeking Help
Unsure how to help DeeDee with her newly presented behaviours, and desperate to ensure we didn't have any resulting incidents, we reached out to a dog training service.
We had an initial phone consultation where we were told that essentially, we needed to stop letting our dog on our sofa, she should eat/sleep in a crate, and we needed to invest in a slip lead.
Trusting the advice, we purchased a dog crate and slip lead, albeit reluctantly as we were happy to have our girl share our bedroom but, we took the 'expert' advice in the hope of helping our girl.
We booked a 1:1 workshop with a really nice trainer and his work-partner. The foundation advice was that if we asserted control on a lead, we'd have control across all aspects of DeeDee's life.
The First Session
DeeDee didn't like the trainer one bit - we assumed this was because he was male - she had developed reactivity towards men, after all. He kept his distance and I could sense that she was unhappy to have him anywhere near her. If he came too close, she barked and lunged in his direction - he was right to keep away.
We started walking around using the slip lead and anytime DeeDee reacted to anything, I was instructed to shortly and sharply pull on the slip with a command 'ah'. DeeDee responded to this, reverting her attention to me upon my command. Naturally, I wanted to praise her but was told to keep the focus on the corrective command for now.
After a while, the trainer brought his large dog out to see how DeeDee would react - she didn't like the presence of the dog one bit so the trainer suggested we tried a prong collar. I'd never heard of these before so trusted his advice and we kitted her up. The collar worked similarly to the slip lead and anytime DeeDee fixated or growled at the stooge dog, a short, sharp pull was delivered and she cowered away.
I had a gut instinct - I wasn't sure about this but we continued the session.
Continuing the Work at Home
After the workshop, we continued the lead-work at home. I noticed that DeeDee no longer got excited about going out for her walks. I considered ditching the prong collar and opting solely for the slip lead as DeeDee had never pulled on a lead and I felt the prong was a bit OTT.
Essentially, I was under the impression that continuing with the advice I was given would result in a non-reactive dog so, we persevered.
After a few long weeks with no changes in her reactivity, I decided that perhaps another approach was worth trying. I opted for one of the training group's 'pack walks' which DeeDee simply hated - she barked, lunged and snarled at each dog, human and everything in-between. It was a stressful and embarrassing experience where the only advice I was given at the session was to reinstate the prong collar and consider coming to more of the pack walks to de-sensitise her to other dogs.
Always Trust Your Gut
I went home feeling defeated and with this niggling feeling in my gut that something wasn't right, I did some research into prong collars.
It was from here that I immediately threw the prong collar in the bin (rather than burn it which was what I really wanted to do).
I took the decision to find my own way in helping my girl without relying on these harsh, aversive techniques that simply did not align with my ethics. I started doing my own CPD and trained as a 'Canine Reactivity and Aggression Expert'.
It turns out, all the methods that the dog training service had been using were actually worsening DeeDee's problems - the slight improvements I'd seen were actually 'learned helplessness' and the pack walk was in fact 'flooding' - something that should be avoided at all costs when supporting a dog with fear-based reactivity.
I felt heartbroken that I'd put my girl through things that I was led to believe would help her but had in fact caused her more damage.
The Turning Point
I started to apply the non-aversive training and behaviour modification techniques I have studied and have seen vast improvements in DeeDee's confidence and coping strategies.
After learning to rule out pain/health issues, we have identified that DeeDee's early-on pseudopregnancy was potentially misdiagnosed and she has since been treated properly. She also has pain management for her diagnosed early onset arthritis - another potential contributing factor to her reactive/aggressive behaviours.
She's got her bounce back - she trusts me entirely and knows that I have got her back in any situation we face together. She knows she is loved and safe: my ultimate goal for her.
I understand the impact of DeeDee's trauma, health, prior experiences and triggers and now know how to help and support her to feel safe, secure, and confident enough to no longer solely rely on her primitive instincts - fight, flight or freeze.
Let Us Be Your Inspiration
DeeDee is my inspiration and the reason for me establishing Paws & Reflect - we want to share our story's successes with you so you can get your happiness back, just like we have.
All real dog trainers know that there is never really an 'end point' to training - learning is an ongoing, life-long process. I know that DeeDee's training is a life-long commitment as life will naturally throw new challenges our way; however, with the techniques and strategies we use, she is coming along in leaps and bounds and enjoying life again.
Positivity-based training has resulted in positive behaviours.
Like us, you no longer have to be restricted by your dog's reactivity, and their behaviours no longer have to define your relationship together.
With the support of Paws & Reflect, you too can rebuild the trust between you and your canine companion so you can enjoy life's experiences together without fear but with confidence, fun and love.
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